Cake of Death: Parenting 101

Each year before the start of the summer Mad Dog and I sit down and strategize how to approach this summer visit. The sad part about this is we’re not this way we parent with Lex. Lex is 2 1/2 years old and he knows that: we have one meal a night, you don’t eat – you don’t eat; you take something out – you put it away before something else comes out or it’s gone; you take off clothing – you put it in the hamper; your room is clean before you go to bed. This is a 2 year old. We have drilled this into him and he has taken to it. We expect and hope Loki will be the same way. Those who know us, know that we are laid back parents. You spill milk, we don’t yell – it’s happens. You ruin your shirt with a stain, we don’t yell – it’s happens. We do however expect you listen, and learn from what we tell you, even if you take the hard way to get there.

Each summer, by the end I feel (I think Mad Dog does too) that we have been walked on. The hard part for me is that I’m a “step-mom” and because of this, I feel I walk a line. A line where I let Mad Dog handle things, and try to stay out of it the best I can. Needless to say, I have a hard time doing this – I mean it is my house, my life and oddly my family it is effecting. Mad Dog knows I’m frustrated and he tries to help me with it, but what it comes down to is that I’m frustrated with her behavior, her attitude and how it effects him, and the kids. Please don’t think, I am saying she is completely without her good points. I love her a great deal. What I don’t love is what she will grow up to become. We can see it and in a lot of ways we can’t stop it no matter how much we attempt to help her down another path.
My last two posts have brought a lot of great comments, ideas and parenting knowledge. I agree with a great deal that has been said.
I know that a lot of this is out of our hands and is due to the other 9 months of the year that she is not with us. I think I’m of the belief that the “Shock and Awe” parenting method seems to work best.The harder, swifter and more shocking the action, the memorable and lasting reaction. I know that those punishments and reactions to my behavior from my childhood were the ones that still stick in my memory even today. Like every child I thought they were unfair, but now I see the justification as a parent. I honestly also think, that

we are the parents, as it has been stated it is not a democracy. My kids start writing “We the People of this Family” and I’ll give them credit for trying, but there will be no “Cake” in my “Cake or Death”; no toy soldier last stand; no “Give me Fruit Treats or give me death”.
We’ll figure it out somehow. I do think we’re going to rethink the family chip-in gift.
I think we all feel she is too young for something such as a Ipod Nano, not only for her age, but for the lack of respect she has for those things she does have.

I would like to thank those who took the time to read the ranting of a parent that is still growing into her own and for the words of encouragement, and assistance. (The photos are of me as a child. Showing my progression to a parent.)
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~ by Cute Fan Girl on August 2, 2009.

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