Memories, Prayers and Strength

About ten years go this week my brothers and I made our pilgrimage to California to see our Father when he was hospitalized. At that time we didn’t know that if our race across the country would allow us the time we needed to possibly say good-bye. That time was terribly difficult for us all, we managed to get through it with the help of our friends – the people I would (and I believe Kevin too) would call our extended family. That morning we were taken to the airport by good friends and met by more to wish us a safe trip and a show their support.

I had planned to write a post regarding this time in my life closer to April when my Father pasted, however recent events have brought the memories to the surface. A dear friend of mine and her family are currently going through similar events that we lived through ten years ago. Her Father’s cancer has reemerged and over the last few weeks his health has been in decline. The prognosis does not look good and thought they are not giving up they are preparing. As a family with the help of his oncologist  and social workers they have made a decision to place him in a Hospice facility not far from the hospital. This will allow for the 24 hour care he will require.

Through Hospice they will make him as comfortable as possible for his remaining time with his family. Our family also with Hospice during my Father’s few weeks with us when he came back to Massachusetts. I can’t say enough about the wonderful people who volunteer their time and work for the Hospice organizations. Their time and support make it possible for families to have the time to say good-bye. For those in their care, they make it as comfortable as possible and treat them with the utmost respect and love though they have just met their ward.

This past week since receiving her email regarding her father I have been thinking a lot. Of I’ve been thinking about my Dad, it’ll be ten year but I’ve also been thinking about her father. Over the years I have known her, I have spent sometime with her parents. Both of them have welcomed her friends into their lives with kindness and friendship. I recall meeting her Dad at Mass Art when he came to see her or pick her up. I remember him from the weekend of her wedding, at the rehearsal dinner, the gathering afterwards and of course on the day of her wedding. Most of all I remember their Father-Daughter dance at her wedding. I thought how lucky she was to have that dance with her father, because I had just lost my father several months earlier.

My heart goes out to their family. I know the hardest part of this time is keeping a smile on your face, being that beam of sunshine in his eye when you want to cry, “why is this happening to him?” Though I don’t always wish I remember my Dad during those few weeks he was sick in our family home in Mansfield, I find that some of my fondest memories come from that time. Maybe because they are in some cases very touching, but in others they were comical. At that time in my life and at the end of my Father’s I had to find humor in things to help me through. I think we all did as family. It brought us together and made us stronger or maybe it just shielded us from the pain. It’s those moments that I held onto later. I hope that their remaining time with him is full of those moments.

I send my prayers, my strength and my love to the family and of course to him.


~ by Cute Fan Girl on February 5, 2011.

One Response to “Memories, Prayers and Strength”

  1. […] ate dinner and watched Sprout, I read email. A dear friend of mine lost her Father this week (See: Memories, Prayers and Strength). Reading the email was hard. I feel so sorry for them. Mad Dog and I talked briefly. He is worried […]

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