Said the Actress to the Bishop…

Lex_Speak NoDo you remember the first time you swore in front of your parents? Was it like that memorable scene in A Christmas Story (you know the “Oh, Fudge!” scene)? Did you find yourself sitting in the bathroom chopping down on a bar of Ivory Soup? Was it worse than that?

Growing up I don’t remember much swearing. My Father didn’t use such words. It just didn’t happen. The closest he got to it was “Sugar, Honey, Ice, Tea”. Because of this I had to learn it from outside sources. Which wasn’t actually that hard, however a little more difficult than it is now a days.  In those days (I make it sound like I was born a million years ago) “Hell” and “Damn” could get you into enough hot water to make you think twice about saying them in ear shot of an adult, but things have progressively intensified over the years. Television has helped increase the circulation of such profanity and has continued to push the envelope with each new incarnation of views. Where “Family Viewing” times were once a safe zone for some parents and their children, now they are loaded with land mines. Foul language has increased overall in all times slots since 1998. With paid “cable” channels, such as HBO and Showtime the profanity has been taken to a whole new level (if you haven’t, you need to check out Deadwood – the extensive profanity is eloquent). That being said, some amazingly good television has little or no profanity at all – examples of this are: Doctor Who; AMC’s The Walking Dead and Sherlock.

Does this mean that television is to blame for the increased use of such words? I don’t think so. Personally I blame myself for any use of it in my home. In fact when my parents were separated and fighting one time my Mother actually used the “F-word” and when my Father asked her where she learned that, my Mother kindly dropped the bus on me and said “your daughter!” This does not mean I taught it to your Mother or child (please lets keep this in perspective). However I did teach it to our son.

Lex_FrustratedRecently (last week) in fact, our 6 year old (soon to be 7 in a few weeks) was attempting to “parent” his 5 year-old sister. She wasn’t doing what she should be doing and in his frustration (which is usually when I use it) he said “Will you put your Fuckin’ shoes away!” This was not a proud moment for anyone in our house. As soon as the words left his mouth, I think he knew he had made a big mistake in two ways. The first was not letting me or Mad Dog deal with his less then helpful at the time little sister and second he had used one of those words that should never leave his lips. For me, it was the realization what I might say it too often in my frustration and in the madness which is our daily lives sometimes. This outburst resulted in Mad Dog having a long talk with Lex about the how he shouldn’t use that word and a second chance. He was told that use of the word again (or any other bad word) would result his in first “grounding”. How do you ground a 6 year-old in the dead of winter? That question is easier then you think! You take away all his technology. I’m talking Television time, iPad time, Tablet time, Nintendo 3DS time and PS3 time. This can destroy a child especially when in the last few weeks this has become his world. Mad Dog made it clear what would result if Lex took it upon himself to use profanity again and we moved on with bedtime.

Flash forward to this past Sunday evening. Lex and Loki are playing a game in the living room in front of the heater together. Its some Cranium Game and there are different tasks. Sometimes you act out something, other times you have to come up with a word based on the spin of a wheel or flip frogs into a pond. They are playing away and I was chilling out reading. Lex was tasked with one of the word challenges. Because the Gods thought it was funny (or because his sister’s name is Loki), Lex got the letter “F” for his word. What do you think he does? He’s trying really hard to think of an “F-word” and then what pops into this head – the ultimate “F-word”. Wanting to make sure he was correct so he could move on to the next task, he asks for confirmation that his word is indeed valid. Now he can’t ask his little sister who is just in Kindergarten, he has to ask his Mom who would know if he was in fact correct. “Mom, is ‘Fuck’ and ‘F’ word?” I think the look on my face told him he was actually correct, however he was actually mistaken in choosing that particular word.

lex (3 of 3)Thing is, part of me felt bad for the kids. He was playing a game and he was right. But I had to remember I’m a “Parent” and that rules are rules. Also the last thing I need is for him to be saying it elsewhere. He was sent to his room, to prevent me from saying my own profanity and then spoken to a short time later, at which time he recited the exact punishment that Mad Dog had laid out for him if he had used said word again. We had some tears and that has continued for the last 2 days that he has been punished. Loki is taking full advantage of the situation and using his Nintendo 3DS as much as she can, since he can’t.

Will he learn his lesson? I think so (God I hope so). Have I learned my lesson? I think so (I really hope so). I have mentally agreed to talk with Lex later today about my own use of the such words and more importantly my use of them in front of him and his sister. I will be making a promise that every time I use one of “those” words I will be placing some money in a jar. That money will be used to do something fun someday that we can all enjoy. Don’t think there will be a lot of money in the jar? I don’t think you know how me too well and just how much I use “those” words. I have a feeling Lex might be going to Disney sooner than he thinks.

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~ by Cute Fan Girl on January 28, 2014.

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